Why setting goals won't work

Covid-19 starts, and we are all in panic mode, buying toilet papers, alcohol wipes, and also alcohol to survive those lonely nights alone at home without company from your loved ones and friends. No school, no social life, no parties, just home. We can't control whatever that is happening outside in the world, but we can control what we do to ourselves, hence we see the growing trend of cutting our own hair, dying it blonde to setting weight loss goals and learning new instruments. This creates a psychological barrier as to what is happening (worsening situation) to tell us psychologically that we still have control in our hands.

However, setting goals can do more harm than good. Stuck at home, one's creative juices and motivation that was once constantly fuelled from nature, people and surroundings has plummeted. It is not shocking that our daily schedule will take a toll during this lockdown and our once busy work life has now become netflix-and-chill. During this time, it is more important for an individual to know he/her own self worth and to know what is the purpose of life, rather than telling oneself to read this new book or learn a guitar or else you lack discipline. There is no need to set up expectations that won't be reached. There is no need to set goals that was so difficult to reach before this situation as setting those same goals now wouldn't make it more achievable. Like all relationships, if you set high expectations when you meet your partner in a blind date but he/she fails to fix into that expectation you created, you won't be satisfied or happy. Same for goal setting, instead of setting hard goals to reach, think of what you want for your end goal, but in a more general way. Such as instead of telling yourself I want to learn how to play the guitar like a professional, or I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of Covid, tell yourself I want to appreciate music and guitar or I want to lead a healthier lifestyle and take the necessary steps to continue a consistent process everyday. If these goals are so far to reach, it might just discourage you and reduce your motivation, especially if you are always at home, looking at the same things, doing the same things.

Setting unobtainable goals is just setting yourself up for an emotional ride. If you can't reach it, you risk yourself from feeling shit about yourself, questioning your ability to do something. A solution to those who still want to achieve a certain goal is to always set smaller obtainable goals that are short-term, especially during this period when you can't go anywhere. Additionally, always keep track of your progress and the process, there is nothing wrong to change your goals as long as you are still thinking about it. Similarly, if you go off track and sabotage your goals, there is nothing wrong to pick yourself up and start again. Setting goals can be helpful, but if done wrongly, it can not only sabotage your process but also harm yourself psychologically and maybe even physically.

Now is the time to do self reflection and to understand yourself. Do you think your goal setting experience has been helping or harming you? Click the chat button to tell me about it!